I have had another baby can I cope now Iv'e got 3 children

So you thought you had it made with 2 children. Then along comes number 3 or more.

If you are a stay at home parent and you have a partner who is at work all the time, juggling a home, house work family and finding time to relax how can it be done. Especially as you have a new demanding baby who doesn’t like to be put down.

The older children are bickering all the time, sliding down the banisters, Screaming at each other, throwing toys across the room trying your patience demanding your full attention in one way or another.

Everyone has to adjust even the older children to yet another member of the family, who is going to take a lot of your time up which means less time for you to spend with them.

As well as getting your self and the new baby into a routine. Finding an equal share to spend with everyone isn’t going to be easy, but with perseverance and patience every one can learn to adjust.

Give the older children little jobs of responsibility even if it’s only emptying a bin.

Depending on the age, just because they may be 3 or a little older doesn’t mean they cannot help you. Children thrive when they are made a fuss off, they develop self esteem, self confidence.

Not only are they learning to explore their surroundings but they are learning to make decisions from an early age. So many times have I come across 14 year olds who cannot make a piece of toast or put their own washing in the washing machine?

What they learn from an early age can help them in their adult life in coping with difficult life skills, fending for themselves when they eventually move on to college or moving in with a flat mate etc.

Plus if you praise them like crazy they will love to help you more and more causing you to be less stressed. They will not be intent on craving for attention from you in negative ways thus a stronger bond within the family unit will be formed instead of constant battle grounds.

Setting boundaries and sticking to them is such a hard task but if followed through down to the letter it will pay off. For example a naughty step at the bottom of the stairs and not allowing children to move from it unless you say so. The golden rule is 1 minute for every age of a child for example a 3 year old will have to sit there for 3 minutes before being allowed to leave. If they move before their time is up then they have to go back and start again.

For the first few attempts they will no doubt try to see if you will give in don’t! Even if you feel like screaming and it has taken an hour or more just to get them to sit down.

If children have been allowed to get away with a lot of disruptive behaviour they may even need a reward chart to encourage good behaviour.

When the older children are in a good mood and the baby is asleep play a few games with the older children to have fun instead of shouting at them. Children frequently say “mummy or daddy shouts all the time we don’t laugh”. Remember this think before you react, are they playing up to get your attention in a negative way if they are, you have got it wrong and need to think about praising positive behaviour.

Back to Articles